The first thought that crosses my mind when beginning to
think about this question is: Flip! This
year has been really really tough! I
have both hated intensely disliked
and loved my class and both intensely disliked and loved myself as a teacher
and as a person. I add that ‘as a person’ because in your first year of
teaching it feels that everything that you used to be falls away and all you
are is a teacher. You eat, sleep and breathe teaching which is not usually the
best thing, because often it’s not a
tasty treat. It took me three terms to realise this and in the fourth term I
slowly started pulling myself towards myself and working out who I was again,
independent of teaching.
Teaching at Lebone has its challenges, however the moment
you think this you start to remind yourself of the challenges one does not have
to deal with at a school like this. Then I get back in my box and realise how
lucky I am to be here, albeit the tough times; which of course, would come in
their various forms in anyone’s first year of teaching.
Looking back I breathe out a sigh of relief that I got
through it and have some much-needed experience under my belt. Remembering of
course that next year won't be a breeze either! I am in a very supportive
department and this has really pulled me through this year. There was always
someone to talk to about anything and give direction without judgement or
criticism. My co-teacher has been a cause for lots of important learning too,
as sports rather than admin is his forte, and so I have landed the job of doing
most of the planning and admin for my grade. While at times this has been
tough, I have also been completely stretched and now can do things and take
responsibility in ways I couldn’t 11 months ago. He has also taught me lots
about interacting with the kids and seeing the other side of teaching which can
often go unnoticed when one is too focused on the academic enrichment of the
young minds in front of us.
The difficult things I have experienced as a first year
teacher...
- You have no structures in place in your classroom. You don’t know how you are going to organise homework or where they’re going to put their reply slips. You don’t know how you are going to make sure the classroom stays tidy without you tidying it. You know the kids need a routine, but you don’t know what it is yet because you don’t know what needs to go into it.
- You think you are much stricter than you are. Actually you’re a push-over and the kids have worked that out by the time first break on the first day has arrived.
- There is a whole bunch of admin needing to be done after or rather before, you have planned teaching time for the next day.
- Classroom management. That’s the most difficult thing.
- What you are going to do when kids lose their pencils on the 2nd day.
- How you manage classroom conflicts when it’s everyone’s fault but no one thinks it’s theirs.
- Etc etc etc.
As a Lebone teacher you are always thinking how you can be
better. This is good because it keeps you on your toes. It’s difficult though
because the extra pressure makes you topple over. It’s difficult but we need to
find a balance between saying... “hey, it’s ok that you are not closing the
achievement gap every single second”...and “Come on now, too much time is
wasted in your classroom, get these kids moving!”.
In trying to reach for this balance I have realised...
- It’s ok to just be ok. (Even at Lebone)
- Lebone is NOT your whole world...it’s important to have some down time. If you’re too stressed you can't be creative and then you get stressed because you’re not creative enough and then....
- Sometimes it’s better just to go to sleep.
- If you mess up and don't say the right thing. It’s ok; just remember what to say next time. Apologise to the kids if you haven’t been fair.
- Plan as much as you can. It’s impossible to have EVERYTHING planned. Really, it’s impossible. So you can't beat yourself up if the lesson isn’t perfect the first time you teach it (try again next year!) or even if it is well-planned and it flops. It’s ok, try again next time. And it’s ok to admit to the class that the lesson was a bit rubbish...perhaps they can give ideas that may help you make it better.
- Have a really well planned lesson at least once a week.
- It’s ok sometimes to play games, chat or just read in class. These things are important too. And the kids enjoy this time of connection, it shows that we’re all just human after all.
These are perhaps only a few of the very-well learnt lessons
that 2012 hurtled towards me. I’m pretty sure that as I have mastered some
things I’ll face new challenges next year, and to be honest, that’s a pretty
scary thought. But at least I’m here, surrounded by people who are always
willing to help and develop you to be the best teacher, and the best person you
can be.
Caitlin Mason J
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